Life is nuisance, celebration is nuisance, FUCK THIS I ain't gonna celebrate anymore.

It happens again, last minute people called in to say they are not coming for my birthday party. Can't they just tell me they can't go in the first place? Why this have to happen every year, overshowered me with depression. Am I that such a bad friend? I guess I myself could catagorized as a bad friend. But the truth is laziness always controls my life. I'm trying hard to changed. I really am. But it never seems enough. I will try harder but what's the point of doing so when people don't even appreciate what I do? Ded's, I just wanna stick with you guyz forever. I feel like giving up knowing new friends. What's the point being faked, making friends for future preferences. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so numb. FUCK I'm so through with friends.
Like the other day, Karen and I went to Times Square. A group of Kuantan friends said want to meet me up because they came down to Kuantan. I agreed and reached there. I already promised Karen to watch a movie so we went to buy tickets first. Then Karen keep on looking at stuff so I didn't wanna bother her. Then my friends called and said they are waiting for me outside of Sungei Wang's entrance. I tried my best to walk there as fast as possible. There's a short stop where Karen went to look at her phone cover. But it really was a short stop. By the time we reached there no one was there. I keep calling them and calling until finally they answer my call. They say they too hungry and went to Low yat Plaza and eat already. I was like what the fuck? Can't they wait just a simple half and hour??? The trip walking from Times Square ain't short. I didn't eat breakfast to wait for them to call me to eat. If they had the heart to look for me, they would have told me a week ago because they went to see concert in Genting, I'm sure this plan is planned months ahead.
I really really give up. No more celebrations. I'm through with all this bullshit when they don't even give a damn of coming. I understand some people don't like clubbing. But this is what I like, can't they take one step down when I always do that for them? Sometimes even I don't really like but when they said they really want it, I try to commodate with them. Can't they do the same for me??? I give up, I hate being dissapointed with friends over and over again. FUCK the celebrations, FUCK birthdays, FUCK friends.