What has Malaysian teenagers turn into?

I have recently read an article about a 14 year old teenager films her friend getting raped by her boyfriend and enjoys it so much she decides to "share" her friend with two other classmates. That is so sick it makes me want to hurl. It did bring to my attention that Malaysia has a high percentage of rape cases, in fact there is at least one or two rape cases or something similar reported in the papers each week. But this has reach a whole new level.

I would think Malaysian government should emphasize more on counselling services or put the mental health issues priority because the psychological mindset of the young are getting twisted and far too complicated it's a whirlpool to disaster. Not to say that it doesn't happen in any other countries, but at least they are trying to do something about it. Malaysia, on the other hand, as I would predict does not take psychology to much consideration. All they would think about it is turn to the nearest emotional support such as witch doctors, religious advisors, and such.

That is not the remedy of the child. It would make them more confuse with the right and wrong thing to do. Furthermore I would say the fine line between the good and the bad is fairly visible to the mindsets of the young nowadays. It just saddens me. And no, I'm not stereotyping all the teenagers in Malaysia in this modern era because there's so much more other cases which relates to why I state such statement.

Uni Life all over again

Alas, I'm at my final year. You would have no idea how sick and tired I am with this. I love studying, dont get me wrong. I was at fault for not working hard in the first two years of college but now I'm actually hardworking and dedicated to score for the papers. And when someone jeopardize it, causing to deduce tremendeously by lazing around, it makes me so furious. Life isn't fair at times I do understand but this seriously had lower my motivation to rock bottom. Even though so, I'm happy I am actually doing something.

I just moved in to my first house (which isn't on campus accommodation nor dormitory). I would post the pictures one day. It is still under renovation (sadly as one of my housemate is a male, I can finally understand the cliche of women complaining annoyingly on how hard it is to stay with the opposite sex).

Another matter that brings to my attention is the fact that how much I've dissapointed my friends over and over again. It wasn't intention. I would know my close friends would know my behaviour and attitude to matters already but doesn't mean they have to put up with it. I could feel I'm losing my most important friends, especially deds. Talking bout ded deds, I just met up with them when I went back for a short visit during Chinese New Year. There was a lot of emotions mixed up in that night. The line of emotions would be alligned with familiarity, eased, delightful, and a dash of awkwardness. I guess I fall so back that deds of four's shadow slowly formed to three. I am trying to do my best to change everything.

Over and over again, it never ceased to remind me I am still in uni life and yet I'm stuck in this never ending tunnel, falling into the infinity darkness...

Life in Perth, finally

I've finally come to Perth to further my studies. It's been a long process but at least I am slowly reaching towards my goal. It's great over here. Meet lotsa friends in the process so it's not so boring really. Will update you with my latest pictures and news ded deds, I miss you guyz *sob sob*

The Inconsiderate and Dumb Woman

Ded deds, do you remember Ronneres my e-pal? I tried talking back to him again. I have no idea why did I argued with him the last time and I missed talking to him. So I actually messaged him. He was cold and didn't wanna talk much. I wondered why and keep messaging him. Finally found out he read my blog here and actually read the post that I scold him. I was embarassed and ashame of myself. I know he will never forgive me and lose a good friend. What is wrong with me? I dont even remember why I wrote what I said in the post... I guess I really like him that time and I tried really hard trying to tell him but...I guess I knew nothing would result in what I do and I was angry with myself I was angry why wouldn't I be more attractive? Why wouldn't I lose some weight? Why wouldn't people accept who am I? Why wouldn't I be more considerate? Why wouldn't I just be more noble and be a friend when he needs one? Why would I fall for him in the first place? Why why why. I was angry at him too at that time which I dont even remember what it is anymore...I...I promise myself that I would never talk that way to another person and yet I did it again. I know how painful it must have felt because I felt that before too.

Ronneres if you are reading this, Im not asking you to forgive me as there is no reason why you should. I just want to say Im really sorry for saying those things I said about you. Im really sorry. There's no reason why I should write those mean things about you even though I'm angry. Im really really sorry Ronneres. I really am...I guess at that time I like you too much and you were calling me and telling me about the problems you have and I just felt pissed off of how she treated you. And I was being selfish and wondered why not I deserved a chance with you when she is treating you so badly and it hurts me that time to see how you're hurting from it. I dont even deserve to think that way as I'm just a friend. I've never handled this feeling before and I guess I got off track and lead my feelings to another level which I'm not entitled to. What a friend I am. I am really sorry Ronneres. I am sorry.

A never ending day...

Today was not really nice. First I got taunted by shemales, then I got taunted by idiotic guys, then other small little things like someone snatching away my car park and so forth. Then to a dramatic end, my uncle got admitted to the hospital after a log hit him directly into the skull. Now he's at pending in a hospital in Raub, in the procedure of rushing him to GH hospital in Chow Kit since all other hospitals do not accept him. I felt so numb *Linkin Park song strums at the background* *sigh* I'm so eager to tell the whole story but I just felt not in the mood to it at the same time. Anyway that's an update of my life. Please pray for my uncle

Linkin Park flying away

My favourite rock band is coming to Singapore and I am not able to go for it. *sobs* Exams are testing my patience this time. I hate this new place that I decide to further my studies on. I thought it would be a better option, better environment, better connection. Instead what I have before is so much better. In fact the reputation in my old university is getting better than my current one. I was flabbergasted. What do I expect myself to do? Running back to the old one? I've decided to change, it's my decision, I should stick to it. No regrets. So why do I somehow felt that I've made the biggest mistake of my life and I should change back despite my ego issues.

It's a matter of principle, not ego. I've set myself to put a harsh reality check. I do not have the priviledge to live under my parents care for the rest of my entire life. Somehow, I have my own responsibility to attend to. Struggling in this piece of crap is hard, but I am doing it anyhow. I'll show the world that no matter how hard it will be, I am going to do it. Guess I'm sticking to this place huh? *sigh* Linkin Park, I need your music to be inspired and motivated. Guess I just have to put on my CD then *puts the CD into the computer and let the music flows through my soul*

Life is nuisance, celebration is nuisance, FUCK THIS I ain't gonna celebrate anymore.

It happens again, last minute people called in to say they are not coming for my birthday party. Can't they just tell me they can't go in the first place? Why this have to happen every year, overshowered me with depression. Am I that such a bad friend? I guess I myself could catagorized as a bad friend. But the truth is laziness always controls my life. I'm trying hard to changed. I really am. But it never seems enough. I will try harder but what's the point of doing so when people don't even appreciate what I do? Ded's, I just wanna stick with you guyz forever. I feel like giving up knowing new friends. What's the point being faked, making friends for future preferences. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so numb. FUCK I'm so through with friends.
Like the other day, Karen and I went to Times Square. A group of Kuantan friends said want to meet me up because they came down to Kuantan. I agreed and reached there. I already promised Karen to watch a movie so we went to buy tickets first. Then Karen keep on looking at stuff so I didn't wanna bother her. Then my friends called and said they are waiting for me outside of Sungei Wang's entrance. I tried my best to walk there as fast as possible. There's a short stop where Karen went to look at her phone cover. But it really was a short stop. By the time we reached there no one was there. I keep calling them and calling until finally they answer my call. They say they too hungry and went to Low yat Plaza and eat already. I was like what the fuck? Can't they wait just a simple half and hour??? The trip walking from Times Square ain't short. I didn't eat breakfast to wait for them to call me to eat. If they had the heart to look for me, they would have told me a week ago because they went to see concert in Genting, I'm sure this plan is planned months ahead.
I really really give up. No more celebrations. I'm through with all this bullshit when they don't even give a damn of coming. I understand some people don't like clubbing. But this is what I like, can't they take one step down when I always do that for them? Sometimes even I don't really like but when they said they really want it, I try to commodate with them. Can't they do the same for me??? I give up, I hate being dissapointed with friends over and over again. FUCK the celebrations, FUCK birthdays, FUCK friends.